


another year and you can’t leave

by Anna_banana



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: 2018 season, Formula 1 drivers - Freeform, M/M, One-Shot, haas, teammates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 17:43:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16123559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anna_banana/pseuds/Anna_banana
Summary: Romain is feeling doubts about whether he deserves a seat for next year. He and Kevin talk it out and finally say a lot of things that had been previously left unspoken.





	another year and you can’t leave

The race hasn’t even happened yet and there’s already a great atmosphere in Sochi. The Haas team are hopeful for the race and are also busy celebrating the retainment of their previous driver line up. There’s still lots of work to be done however so before long the team are busy again and Kevin and Romain return to the team motorhome. 

Kevin seems extremely happy and while his exuberance warms Romain, he still feels the turmoil of doubt and indecision. Not wanting to ruin the mood he slips away as quietly as possible heading back towards his drivers’ room. 

Chatting to his race engineer Kevin can’t help but glance around the motorhome as subtly as possible. After the time they’ve spent together he feels almost attuned to Romain’s presence and quickly notices the other man leaving the room, looking dejected. He makes his excuses soon after and decides to follow the Frenchman, heading to knock on his room door.

“Come in!” He hears Romain yell and enters, closing and locking the door behind. 

“What are you doing all alone in here?” Kevin asks, heading towards the sofa to join Romain.

“Was just done with all the celebrating.” 

Romain stops his explanation there and while Kevin wouldn’t normally care about other’s problems he can’t help but to want to cheer up the Frenchman.

“Why?” He asks. 

“I-“ Romain sounds as though he’s about to snap and just brush it all away so Kevin keeps pushing.

“You can talk to _me_ , please?”

Romain sighs dejectedly and Kevin begins to realise he’s perhaps signed himself up to something more serious than he was prepared for. 

“I, maybe I don’t deserve to stay here in F1, maybe everyone is right don’t you think?”

Kevin’s heart constricts in his chest and yet as always he can’t help but twist his emotions and turn them into anger that he launches at the other man.

“Don’t be stupid Romain of course you do and if nothing else I deserve you to stay so that’s it.”

“That’s not a real reason,” Romain replies calmly. Already he can see that Kevin is about to snap again so he continues.

“It doesn’t mean I’m going to leave you know. I couldn’t do that to me, or you. I just think I’m being selfish, taking it away from someone who really deserves a shot more.”

“The team needs you,” Kevin starts firmly staring into Romain’s eyes for confirmation that he’s not leaving. 

“It’s our chance now, anyone else’s will come after or from someone else.”

When Kevin says the team, Romain knows that it really means that Kevin needs him. The thought is dizzying, yet he knows if he speaks it out loud, the young Dane will pull away from him just like he always does.

“You guys just like having me here because I cook good food,” he decides to joke, not wanting his teammate to draw away.

“Well it’s definitely the main reason but not the only one,” Kevin retorts back, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

“Pretty sure it would be easier to find someone for that than for the cooking to be fair.” 

Kevin can tell Romain is trying to continue the teasing tone, but the sullen note to his voice falls flat and Kevin begins to feel somewhat guilty, looking across to him as the other man stares down at his feet.

“Yeah maybe,” he starts and Romain looks up, the hurt flashing across his face.

“But I wouldn’t want to,” he continues, nudging Romain’s shoulder gently. 

Part of Romain is relieved at hearing this admission but another part of him is extremely frustrated and this is the part that scoffs out loud.

It’s as though half of him remembers the good things. That Kevin always remembers things about him and knows how to cheer him up and understands him perfectly. Then there’s the other half. The part that knows Kevin always leaves at night and will never say anything really important or committing.

He bites his tongue now and Kevin always knows when he’s omitting something. The alarm bells always go off screaming emotions, danger. But this time Kevin actually stays and he’s not even changing the subject.

“What, you don’t believe me?”

As much as Romain loves Kevin’s presence he’s beginning to wish he’d just locked his door in the first place and kept his thoughts to himself. 

“You know what I think and I’m not going to bother mentioning it again, I know it’s a waste of time with you.”

Kevin sighs knowing exactly what the other man means. Their whole time at Haas this has been happening between them. He’s always been afraid to commit with the nature of the sport. Never really knowing how long their seats or their time here will last. 

This time he really looks at the dejection on Romain’s face and he feels he can’t ignore it. The older driver has been so important to his time in Haas and he knows that he can’t lose him as a teammate. He’s not even sure now if he could cope with losing him at all.

“You know I don’t want anyone but you Romain and you know how much I need you to stay, even if I’ve never said it out loud before,” he takes in a deep breath. The Frenchman is staring at him intently so Kevin clasps onto his hand.

“If it’s something we need to talk about for it to be a real thing for you, well then I’m willing to do it.”

By this point Romain is smiling, even if it is a bit watery in nature. 

“You don’t need to just say that just for the sake of it you know, like I said I’m not leaving yet.” 

The gravity of that statement hits Kevin like a head on collision. That even after all this time, Romain would really believe he would say or even make up something like this just for the sake of it. Romain’s hand is still grasping his lightly however so he doesn’t lose hope.

“You know me,” he starts softly never having even considered such an outward confession. “That I would never say something like that just because. It’s been a long time now and iut’s only been you and I haven’t said anything. Do you know why?” 

“So it can someday not be me?” Romain mutters bitterly and Kevin squeezes his hand so tight that it hurts.

“Because I’ve been scared. I’ve always been scared that some day things wouldn’t work out but I’m even more scared now!” Romain looks confused so he carries on.

“Now I’m more scared that you’ll leave and leave me as well and I don’t want that. It’s not that I was worried about making it permanent. I was worried something would go wrong. But you’re far too important not to take the risk.”

Kevin had always thought he’d feel doubt and uncertainty if he ever admitted something like that. Instead he feels relief and certainty and knows that no matter what happens he’s made the right decision.

“Oh mon petit,” Romain starts and Kevin can’t help but feel the curl of happiness from that expression even if all he does in response is scrunch his nose in distaste. 

“No matter what happens with the team or the sport, I have no plans to ever leave you. You’ve always known how I felt.”

When Romain finishes he places a gentle kiss on Kevin’s forehead. Kevin on the other hand decides to haul the other man into a long and deep kiss. 

What feels like only moments later the door bangs nearly shaking from the large thumps which causes the two to pull away in shock. 

“You two better not be having sex in there. We have to go now and there’s not enough time for you two to get dressed.” 

Yelling comes from the other and the door handle starts rattling. Hearing Gunther’s alarmed yells Kevin and Romain place their foreheads together and laugh. Somehow the moment being broken by their frantic team boss lets them know that everything will be just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> The Haas announcement distracting me from all other fic. And forcing me to write something longer than planned. It’s their fault really


End file.
